Monthly Archives: July 2018

Hope on The 4th


Inspiration can be found in the most mundane of things. It is not the thing that provides the inspiration but our perception of the thing. We add the meaning to it and we choose what we take away from it. A crack in the sidewalk for example. . . some see a flaw. . . .some see decay. . . I see hope. Life finds a way. No matter how hard the ground, how impervious. . . no matter how desperate the situation. . .In this tiny plant I see hope. Good will always find a way.

Happy 4th everyone.

Find a crack in the pavement and grow.

Choose to find hope even when there seems to be no hope.

Find a way.


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The old man in the store looked confused and his cart was nearly empty. I asked if he needed help. He just looked at me with sad, pleading eyes and said, “She always did all the shopping.” I left him to his grief; nothing I could have said would have helped at all. #cnftweet

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Some of Our Custom Carved Crochet Hooks

Custom Hooks Created For Aesthetics and/or Fibromyalgia and Arthritis Use

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The Chaos Of Me

Post It Notes

I outline in a weird way. I have come to this epiphany after reading how other people do it and realized, the way that works for me is. . . .odd. I am a visual creature. When I am writing I see in my mind things and then try and describe what I am seeing. By the time a story is done or, hopefully, my first novel, I have seen it as a movie in my head over and over, each time with slight little tweaks and bits changed. But I see it and that is how my brain works.

I’ve tried the note card method, the free writing method, the rigidly formatted method and none work for me.

What does work for me are sizes, colors, and spreading things out. I start with rather large (11 x 14) paper. On these pieces are the main big fu-fu parts of the story, the things that must happen to propel the story to its end. This is not only the standard turning points of a three act story but also things that I want to be major that make the story make sense to me. Once I have those written down I begin to pin them in order on the wall with thumb tacks.

Next I take 8.5 x 11 sheets, usually a different color than the big white sheets. These are scenes and they are written out in a random order. I need to know why the story goes from point A (the beginning) to point Z (the ending) and for me that is not a linear process. Each big paper is looked at and I replay the things around it in the movie in my mind. I look to see what details I need to make it happen and make it logical (even in a non-logic based urban fantasy setting). I spread out my thoughts from there, slowly weaving what has to have happened prior to each point to what should happen after another point.

The reason I do this bit is to get the scenes as I want them in my head. It is not an absolute for me. Often I pull the tacks out and stuff them in another place. I am also usually too lazy to respreads all the papers so I can tend to get clumps of papers all shoved into one small place. That is ok for me. That visual lets me know that particular area is important to the movie in my head.

Once I have the scenes, the steps from one fu-fu to the next, done I take out the post it notes. Yellow is for name ideas or object ideas. Purple is for emotional aspects I want to bring out. Green is for important information I need to have expressed by then. Blue is for back story that needs to be told by that point for it to be logical. Pink is for action bits. Orange is for questions I have not answered yet.

Now I stand back and look at the chaotic mess I have made all over the living room. Thing is though, it is not chaotic to me. I see the sizes, shapes, colors as the thoughts I am trying to organize. I keep adding post-it notes until I can’t think of anything more but I don’t put them away. If I do, I will have to grab them out again in no time, never fails.

Now I start to tell myself the story, usually out loud. I tell the story just like you’d describe a movie you saw to someone else and I challenge myself on the validity of the logic for everything that is not based in physics or just common sense. Anything that is a dramatic element of the story is challenged like a parent questioning a late child about where they’ve been. I try and poke holes in my head-movie. I try and draw conclusions to spoil the ending. I try and tear the story apart and sometimes it works. Sometimes I realize “That is just stupid” and then I grab up the post its and start to figure out a way to make it not stupid.

Sometimes at this point I rip up some of the 8.5×11 sheets and figure out a different set of steps to get from fu-fu to fu-fu. Sometimes I rearrange things so they make more sense and line up more with the movie. I add post-its as needed until I feel “Ok, this is what I am seeing and it makes sense”.

Then I leave it alone. I go off and do something else and leave the mess tacked to the wall. When I return I start over and think of the movie in my head. I see how it lines up to the mess on the walls and I try and find big holes in the whole thing. I do this for days and I keep adding little bits or moving things or taking things away until one day I look at the mess and I see it. I see the movie in my head.

Then I start writing it all down in an outline to make sure I don’t lose anything.

But it is all seeing it for me. It is all about seeing what I see in my mind in a mass of colored paper and thumb tacks and only then, when I have poked at it for a long time can I start to write it down and make sure I remember it. I have to see it first.

That’s how I outline.

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My Main Problem(s) With Racism

Fleshtone Pastels

So here is my main problem with racism. .. It doesn’t make sense. Hating people for their skin color is just so amazingly stupid. Above is a flesh tone set of pastels and the thing that grabs my eye is that they are all shades of brown. Some are lighter, some darker, some have grays and some have pinks and some have yellows added but they are all browns. Human skin is not pure white nor is it pure black, it is varying shades of browns. So racism based on skin color is just. . . stupid.

So if it isn’t about skin color then it must be about other things and those things are all tucked under an umbrella of color. Things like cultural norms, language, religion. . . and we group them all under a blanket of color because it is easier to hate categorically rather than specifically. In other words, racism is just lazy bigotry.

My ancestor fought in the American revolution. He fought to help bring this country into being. Other ancestors later came from Germany, Sweden, Wales, and a few from the indigenous American Indians. The thing they all had in common is that they really had nothing in common except that they came to this country to find something better. To find a safe place.

Fast forward generations and this country is rich in culture because of exactly this reason. Many people from many lands adding their own unique culture to the mix that is America. There are no cultures, with the exception of certain native tribes in remote places, that have not been influenced by other cultures. The human race is blending ideas, thoughts and cultures on a constant basis so the palette of culture and norms is, like that of color, varied hues of the same. Each is dynamic and blends with the rest at times or can be used to created vibrant highlights standing alone. They are not alien to each other though. They are all based on the basic concept of being human.

Religions are a hornets nest of possible reasons for hate I guess. People get zealous about it really fast which is why our country was founded to accept religions. It was created to be a safe haven for religions. So I really do not understand people claiming to be patriots hating with such zeal anyone who believes differently than them. To me, that hatred is the most un-American of things. It is the antithesis of the founding father’s efforts.

As far as language. . .use a frickin translation app and get over it. I mean really, hating people because you don’t want to open an app to communicate is just stupid.

So this leaves me with only one possible reason for racism.


Fear due to lack of understanding.

Fear of being left out.

Fear that one’s own identity is not strong enough and that the self will be lost to the storm.


Plain and simple. . . and I do not understand how you can be proud of allowing fear to rule your thoughts. I do not understand having pride in being a prick because fear makes you feel small and insignificant.

It’s just fear.

We’re all shades of brown.

We’re all shades of each other.

You don’t have to be afraid.

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Painting - Courage

A tree is such a fitting symbol of courage. It is always true to itself. An oak tree planted in a pine forest, growing up surrounded by pine trees will always be an oak tree. It never tries to become a pine. It never tries to hide the fact that it is an oak. It is always true to it’s nature. That is courage. Being true to the self, in spite of having overwhelming pressure to conform.


(artwork pastel on gatorboard treated with acrylic ground and watercolor wash)

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